


You Could’ve Done So Much More If You Only Had Time

by dreameh



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, I didn’t quite cry while writing this my emotions are broken, M/M, Timeline changes, i can’t believe I’m writing about America’s founding fathers, i wanted to cry though, im Australian ffs, offscreen major character death, we all know who’s dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23423209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreameh/pseuds/dreameh
Summary: In a timeline where John Laurens doesn’t die before George Washington becomes President, Alexander Hamilton’s only care is whether there will be a position for John to work with him.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & George Washington, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Implied Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette (past)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	You Could’ve Done So Much More If You Only Had Time

When George Washington had asked Alexander Hamilton to be his Secretary of Treasury, the first thing that Alexander had said in response was “Do you have a position for John?” and the man who was soon to be leading all of America just looked at him with a deadpan look. “Sir, please, you know John and I work best together.” Alexander pleaded. 

“Alexander, please. Do you really think I don’t already know that?“ George asked after sighing exasperatedly. It was almost as if he forgot that it was George who he had worked under with John Laurens in the first place. “Well?” At Alexander’s prompt, he sighed and retrieved a folded letter from within a pocket in his coat, handing it over to the smaller.

Seeing John’s name having been written in the distinct cursive which he knew was the General’s, his eyes lit up and he looked up at the man with hope. “Only because I know that you and the Secretary of State have differing opinions and Lieutenant Colonel Laurens may just be the only person who would be able to stop you from duelling him. And no, that is not an invitation to duel Thomas Jefferson.” He sounded exhausted as he said that last sentence. “You can read the letter. I’m sure that John would let you read it when he returns regardless, but you are always reading your private correspondences to each other, so I may as well let you read it now.”

Alexander couldn’t help the blush that appeared on his face at the words, but as that happened, he was still somewhat terrified that the General might know about his and John’s intimate relationship and that they’d be killed and- Alexander forced himself to calm down and he opened the letter.

Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens,

  
Since the war has ended, I’m sure you are aware that the people have elected me to lead our newly free country as President. I have spent most of my time since then deciding the people that I need.

This is a formal request for your presence in New York to join my cabinet. Your job will be intertwined closely with that of your fellow aide-de-camp, Alexander Hamilton, as I have previously found that you two do your best work while together. Just as you did during the war, you two would be working in close quarters.

I am anticipating a reply as soon as you can provide one, and hope to see you join me. 

  
General George Washington.

Alexander couldn’t hide his excited grin after reading the letter. Not only was John being invited to be part of George Washington’s team, but he was being invited to a position where they would remain working together. “Now, I will be sealing the letter and relying on you to make sure it gets to him. I’m aware that you commonly write to each other.” Alexander froze and ran through what seemed to be a million scenarios of what would come next, but he wasn’t expected what came.

“Although, when you’re working together, please don’t let others witness the intimate nature of your relationship.“ George sounded somewhat good natured underneath the warning, but Alexander’s heart still clenched in fear hearing that. 

“What relationship? Laurens is my closest friend, that is all.” Alexander could barely be heard, speaking little louder than a whisper. He could barely  breathe , they were going to be killed- he was dragged from the unreasonable panic and shallow breathing and clouded vision by a strong grip on his shoulder. He didn’t notice the concern on the man’s face. “Sir?” He asked, breathless, “If you are to punish anyone, please kill me instead of John. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“What? Alexander no. You’re not going to die. You’re too valuable to die for something like sodomy. I know that often happens with soldiers, they desire for sexual activity and with other men being their only option they settle for that, and I know that whatever you have with Laurens must be different for it to have continued even after your marriage.” The only judgement in the look shot his way was regarding his marriage. He knew he hadn’t told Eliza. It couldn’t be more obvious. “I’m just reminding you that most people will be less impartial towards the idea than me, so you will have to watch yourselves.” Alexander was still panicking, just significantly lesser than he was before.

“How long have you known?” He asked quietly, resigned to the fact that the General knew about him and John. “A long time. Valley Forge? Maybe longer.” Alexander blanched. That was indeed a long time. “Sir-“

“I’m not asking you to explain yourself. Just, please, keep it to yourself?”

“Of course, we’re practically professionals at keeping it a secret.” That got him a judgemental look “We are! I’m not sure how you found out, only Lafayette knows and that’s because...” he trailed off and stared at nothing over George’s shoulder with the sigh of a lovesick maiden. George just sighed exasperatedly. He did not particularly want to hear about the Marquis’s involvement in their sexual escapades.

Not too long after the letters were sent out, John’s response was received. It was an affirmative that he was going to join the team of the first President and work alongside Alexander. He would be leaving by the end of the week (it was a Sunday when Alexander received the letter, so John would’ve set out already) and was hoping to arrive 3 days later, a day before they were to start working.

When John didn’t show up the day he’d alluded to in his letter, Alexander was mildly concerned. John was very punctual, having grown up with a very strict father who he’d implied would punish him physically if he did not contort to the expectations to be the perfect son. He would write an estimate time frame in his correspondence and normally get there much earlier. When John didn’t show up for their first day in office, Thomas Jefferson waltzed into the room acting like he owned everything and Alexander hated him instantly. Jefferson hated him in return, seemingly thinking that he was George Washington’s illegitimate son and immediately trying to corner him about the nonexistent nepotism. 

He’d learned that Jefferson owned a large number of slaves, and Alexander knew that the moment John arrived, he would give him a verbal lashing about owning slaves that would be so harsh he might cry. That night, he met up with Hercules Mulligan, who he hadn’t seen since the end of the war, and they got drunk and Alexander might have cried, maybe it was something about John abandoning him because all he remembered was Hercules saying “Nah man, to stick with you even after you got married? He’d never abandon you.” And he woke up to a concerned Eliza telling him that she’d received a random gift of a dress from his drunk tailor friend who had brought him home.

He was leaving for work three days later when Eliza had returned from picking up the post, looking unnaturally pale. “My dear Betsy, what distresses you so?” He was trying to sound lighthearted, but she looked up at him with a pitying look and he instantly felt concern. A letter was handed to him and he gathered his courage to look down at it. His name was written, with the sender’s address being the one that John normally sent his letters from, but the penmanship was not that of John Laurens’, which he was so fond of. Somehow he managed to convince himself to open the letter and he read it with rising horror.

Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton  
  


My son, Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens will not be able to attend President Washington’s cabinet as he was killed in an ambush by loyalists who had not yet fled back to Britain.

He will be buried here in South Carolina at the soonest instance after his body is transported to the Laurens’ estate.   
  


Henry Laurens

Alexander paid no attention to Eliza asking him if he was okay. His mind had skidded to a stop, his heart felt numb, it felt as if his ears had been stuffed with cotton. He didn’t know exactly what happened, but the next thing he knew he was bursting through the door into George Washington’s office. “Alexander?” His superior’s voice was calm, and if Alexander himself was calm, he’d be able to hear the concern in his voice. 

“Hamilton, can’t you see we are in a meeting?” Alexander hardly paid attention to the scathing tone in Jefferson’s voice. He only stared blankly at the president, struggling to breathe, breathing in and in and in but not able to breathe out. His eyesight was blurring with tears. “Hamilton, calm down. Breathe, in and out. What’s wrong?”

“Sir,” he managed to choke out, “John is dead.” George’s calm facade instantly dropped and he paled hearing those words. “Oh no... Alexander...” the tears began to spill at the sympathetic tone. Jefferson’s expression warped into something weird upon seeing the raw emotion, and had Alexander not been crying his eyes out, he probably would’ve made fun of him. 

Washington apparently decided that he didn’t care about Jefferson’s adamant belief that Alexander was his son and strode over to him and pulled the shorter into a tight hug, which made his crying even more hysterical. “He promised me he’d be here.” He sobbed, barely heard over his cries. George could feel his shoulder getting wet from the tears and pulled away shortly after, looking Alexander in the eye. “Alexander, he didn’t want for it to happen. He was anticipating working with you again. It’s not your fault.”

“It is though. Everyone I care for leaves me and the latest is my dearest Laurens. It’s my fault he is dead. If he had not gotten involved with me this would’ve never happened.” George tensed up slightly at the tiniest insight into Alexander’s past. He’d not once mentioned it to him and John had refused to answer when he’d been asked, saying it was up to Alexander to tell him.

“Pray tell, how many times would Laurens have died during the war if you were not in his life?” The sobs quietened down as Alexander thought that through, reminding himself of the times he’d saved the man.

“But-“

“Don’t bother arguing Alexander. Go home. Allow yourself time to mourn. Go to South Carolina and attend the burial if you must. You’re as good as family to him after all of the time you spent with him during the war. Just do not fault yourself for something you had no involvement with and stop pushing yourself so hard, otherwise you will join John prematurely and he will kill you again himself.” Alexander’s shoulders dropped and he muttered a resigned “Yes sir.” as he turned to walk back out. “Thank you, sir.” He added as he walked out and wiped his tears, using the sleeves of his new, rather expensive coat, before closing the door behind him. 

George almost completely forgot that Jefferson was in the room with him and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering “Jesus Christ.” underneath his breath, taking a few steps and bracing himself against the frame of a bookcase as he tried to process what he’d just been told. “Dammit Laurens, he’s going to work himself to death now that you’re not here.” Anyone could pick up the devastated tone in his voice as he talked to someone who had already left the mortal plane.

“Mr President, do you wish for me to leave and reschedule our meeting?” George jolted slightly at Jefferson’s voice, dragging him from the overthinking that he was doing. “No, don’t. I need to keep myself as distracted as possible otherwise my mind will linger and I will not be able to escape my thoughts.” He dragged a hand down his face and turned around after a deep breath. 

“Before we get back to our discussion, if you don’t mind me asking, who is John and why is Hamilton so upset about his death?” George shook his head, he should’ve asked Thomas to leave and come back, this wasn’t something he wanted to talk to him about, but he answered the question anyway. “Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens, is, well... was one of my former aide-de-camps and he is Alexander’s dearest person.”

“Is his wife not his dearest person?” Jefferson then asked, confused. All he‘s heard about Alexander before meeting him, other than how his writing and political stance could be considered insane, is that he and his wife are oh so in love with each other and already had four children. 

“It’s rather complex... see, he loves his wife dearly, but John had been his dearest person before he met her, before he even met me, I suspect.” Jefferson raised an eyebrow at that. “Believe me, had Alexander not been preoccupied by Elizabeth at the Winter’s Ball, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see my two aides dancing together. They’re certainly shameless enough to do so.” He smiled fondly at the reminder, but that expression was rather quickly wiped off his face as he remembered he’d never get to see something like that again, because John was dead and would never return.

He turned away from Jefferson to hide the vulnerability he was showing on his face and steeled himself, hoping his voice didn’t sound like he was near tears, saying “Let us get back to business, I suppose.” He was busy. He couldn’t afford to stop and mourn while working.

If a few tears fell down his cheeks and he didn’t get the chance to wipe his face, Jefferson would never say that he’d noticed the tear tracks, knowing it was only fair the President got to mourn one of his men. He also would never say anything about Alexander’s peculiar relationship with the recently deceased John Laurens, saving that piece of knowledge for himself.

(And later, for blackmail, when he’d found about the cheques to one James Reynolds.)

**Author's Note:**

> ;)
> 
> please help me i'm going insane why am I so invested in this-
> 
> comment any uhh constructive criticism below its uhhhhh 4am in Australia im going to sleep now


End file.
